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3 Ways To Find Out Whether You Are Afraid of Commitment

Commitment! The word says it all, doesn’t it? We all love going around with loved ones, enjoy the beautiful candle lights, stroll in the park, shopping and watching films together. But when it comes to committing to each other for ever, we all get cold feet.

For men and women alike, commitment is a word that brings jitters to the entire body. However, the fear of committing to a relation is much higher and severe in men compared to females. When you love someone, you automatically get committed. But there are people who have commitment phobia, no matter how madly they love their partner. They bring a stop to their relation as soon as it comes to committing for a lifetime and move back. This stop, move back and again go pattern needs to be sorted if you want to live a happy life with the person you love.

There is usually no cure or medication or therapy to fight the fear of commitment. The only way to come over it is by the mutual understanding, faith and love between both the partners. You cannot get over this phobia all by yourself. Also, your partner cannot pull you out of it alone. Without the mutual co-operation of both, getting out of the phobia is not an easy task. However, before you try to help your partner with this phobe, you need to know the reason for the phobia, how it is affecting your relation and how to cure it.

Phobia to commitment usually begins at an early age. We all grow up differently in varied atmospheres and lifestyle. Hence, the phobia to commitment also has several possibilities. Here are a few common reasons that usually causes to this phobia.

  • Loss of a child.
  • Childhood trauma
  • Parent separation or divorce
  • Insignificant role models

These may only be one of the few reasons why a lot of people have problem committing to relations. But, our thoughts also play a significant role. What we think about marriage, relations, mortgage, looking after your family, kids or parents, etc. also matters. Every time you think the relation going deeper and stronger, a person with commitment phobia fears of losing control of the situation. He feels lost and unconvinced of whether he is doing the right thing or not. Well, the best way to help you get over this situation is by helping you identifying the fear and hence the reason behind it. Ask yourself these following questions and know what your real fear is.

Do you fear commitment for the responsibility or the decisions involved in it?

In this situation, you will feel as the entire relation is dependent on you. You may have to initiate contact and continue with the proceedings. The partner suffering from the fear of committing will have issues making decisions or planning things.

Do you fear committing as a partner to a person?

In this condition, you will feel as if you are not a priority in the relation and will constantly feel being left back. You may not feel the love or cherish relations around you.

Do you fear committing to relations or love?

You may be a committed person at work and home, but fear commitment in love. This happens when you have suffered betrayal in your previous relations. Committing again into a relation seems like a difficult task to such people. The fear of facing failure in love constantly keeps them away from the person they love. Many a times, you may see fear on the faces of such people, the fear of losing the person they love.

If you are the person suffering from fear of commitment or are partner to such a person, make sure you control the fear with love and understanding. It is important that you fight the fear slowly and again build-in the confidence in him/her. So, overcome the fear of commitment with love.

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