He accompanied one of my friends when we gathered to watch a movie. He was a handsome, tall guy who already had a girlfriend and their relationship? — was complicated. We became good friends, thanks to our happening hangouts! I saw him getting annoyed with the phone calls, being abusive while speaking to his girlfriend, all this dragged him into drugs, alcohol, nights with prostitutes and tobacco inhalations!
As a friend with basic human nature, I often advised him to remain aloof from the slow poison that he was habituated to. His love affair soon saw an end and it enlarged his conventions. I always tried that no-one should ever degrade their life owning a relationship failure. I was scared he may take a wrong way to overcome his breakup so I made sure he quit his habits through our long phone calls and meetings. With days, months that flew like seconds, we both cultivated feelings for each other.
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My days were a golden castle, nights a heaven with him in my mind. Neither my family who belonged to the Pandit Brahmin caste had issues with we getting close nor did his family who were the elite lawyers of Yadav families of Allahabad. What else would a girl desire? I was in love with a person who was educated, caring and belonged to an elite class and adding to these sugar candies of life, he loved me too. It’s been 4 years in a relationship while I completed my studies and he completely dedicated to his dream of having a chain of hotels. I was so engrossed in his life that I lost all my friend circle and made his friends mine.
My Mind, Soul and Heart everything was coloured by Rahul’s Love.
I passed out with flying colours and he had invested lots of money in his growing hotel business in Lucknow. My life was perfect, I expected nothing more than his love and our life together. I even dropped my plans for higher studies in Delhi, as he wanted to see me at least once a day. Slowly, my family started expecting us to plan our marriage. I asked him his plans and he proposed me jumping out of his seat.
My Life was like a perfectly framed story where my life had no grey clouds at all until one day.
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I heard a bad news about his elder sister’s divorce. I was sorry for her but happy that she was out of the unhappy marriage. Later one day this conversation with Rahul Occurred:
I said, “What’s the point of 40 Lakhs that you gave as a Dowry in Di’s marriage? What matters at the end is the understanding between the two and not money”.
To my utter shock Rahul said, “ Dowry is important, it is our custom so we gave it. Even you will have to give 40 Lakhs when we are married”.
I laughed out louder, he knew I belonged to a middle class family and would not be able to pay Dowry, moreover it was never a custom in my family. I had plans to pursue Ph.d and would die spending time together with him and his family. Whatever I would earn in future would belong to him. So why does he demand Dowry anyway? He laughed too and I took it as a joke.
Few days later:
I said, “ Mujhe to simple shaadi acchi lagti hai, with no shor sharaba”
Rahul – “Nope, per mujhe to ekdum lavish shaadi karni hai. Tum abhi bhi soch lo.. nahi shaadi karni toh chhod do.”
Such statements put me in dilemma but then he frames it as jest, but then not everything was as earlier! With the dawn and the dusk glowing regularly, he avoided my calls and whenever he spoke it became more of a formal thing. Every time I spoke about marriage he had pile of reasons to avoid. Marriage became a procrastinated thing. He even shifted to one of his hotels in Lucknow and I wasn’t aware of his decision. For an year our browl and love continued and I became more insecure about the relationship which was in a bad phase but had complete faith, we would make it out of this mess.
But… nothing was alright, I found that his parents were looking for a bride! I immediately headed to Lucknow where on my annoyed questions leaded to this conversation:
“What is happening Rahul? I heard you getting married to someone else? What is wrong?
He said, “Leave, you will not be able to marry me. Your family cannot afford me. Are you ready to pay me 40 Lakhs? I need money. I have invested crores in Hotels. If you can, let’s get married or we need to STOP here.”
I stood still. My world was shrinking into a deep pit. I felt like there is no reason for me to exists in this world. I made my career according to his choice, made his friends mine, my world was only him and now he doesn’t want me, but money which I will not be able to pay.
In few days, I saw him getting almost engaged to someone else, he was happy and had no scratch of guilt, not even little! Instead when I went to see him, he rudely discouraged me and asked me to go away, and this time even his family members!
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Enough, I thought now. I should have done this long back! I made my mind and helped my sinking heart by reminding the better parts of the incidents that occurred! I couldn’t complain about him because he is from the A grade politician’s family, who also had connections in supreme court. I am from a normal middle class family and avoided dragging my family into never ending court meetings.
Did he ditch me because I pulled him out of ferocious depression? Is he doing me a favour for I snatched him out of the prostitution? If this was the outcome of my love and loyalty, then I would remain happy alone. Myself!! Nothing is more precious than yourself, love yourself and feel obsessed.
I left Allahabad, completely! I moved to Vadodara. Today after breathing air from the 7 years of relationship, I am independent, happy and proud to overcome the life which I never deserved.
I hope you will learn from my mistakes and would not be swayed in any such fake relations.
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