One in four Americans consider themselves kinky. And while the term kinky is highly subjective, if you’re ready to share with your partner than you’re kinkier than they know, trust us, you’re not the only one.

Getting up the courage to tell your loved one you’re ready to take things to the next level in the bedroom is no easy feat. In fact, 27% of people surveyed have a secret sex act in mind but haven’t told their partner.

But don’t worry, we’ve got you’re back. Check out these helpful tips for revealing your kinky side to your unsuspecting partner, so that the next time things heat up in the bedroom, you can be your true self.

1. Be Confident

Many times revealing your deepest sexual fantasies to your partner is met with utter shock and disgust. This kind of reaction only makes communicating your needs impossible, which is unhealthy in any relationship. It also means the next time you have a similar conversation, you’re going to be tentative, which may makes things even worse.

If you’re ready to share with your partner that you want to be more kinky, go in calm, cool, and collected. If he truly cares about you, he’ll have an open mind.

2. Don’t Share While Doing the Deed

The last thing you want to do is to spill the beans about your kinky side mid-sex. Your partner may be taken aback and not know how to react, which can lead to a hurtful stop of your playful time and carry over into your sex life forever.

When you decide it’s time to talk about your kinky needs, do it in a calm setting that involves wearing all your clothes. This way you and your partner can have a discussion without any interruptions.

3. Talk About the Benefits

 A lot of people don’t like the idea of being kinky because they don’t understand it. A great way to get your partner on board with your desires is to show them how wonderful your kinks are and how they can benefit both of you. Explain that giving in to your kinkiness will spark a fire within you, and that your sex life will improve drastically.

For instance, let’s say something you’ve always wanted to do was use a sex machine. That’s pretty kinky right? Besides sharing with your partner why you are turned on by the thought of using a sex machine, show him how it will benefit him too. Some of the best sex machines out there have attachments that can be used by both men and women. They aren’t necessarily for solo time, which can be a turnoff if that’s what your partner thinks you want.

If you and your partner decide to give your kinks a try the next time you have sex, such as try some exciting new sex positions, make sure to positively reinforce your partner and share with him how his actions are turning you on.

4. Don’t Negate the Sex You Have Now

It’s crucial that you don’t talk down the sex you’re having now when telling your partner about your kinky side. In fact, if the sex you’re having now downright sucks, work on that before you bring kink into the bedroom.

This means work on your communication and listening skills, which are essential when you have kinky sex. If you don’t, you’re kinky desires are not going to pan out the way you imagine, which may lead to a lot of disappointment.

Remember, not everyone is okay with the idea of being kinky in the bedroom. And that’s ok! That’s why communicating clearly and openly with your partner is so important. If you feel your kinky side is going to ruin a good thing, you might just have to leave it out of the equation.