Weddings are fun! But, no sooner do the ceremonies end, the fun part slowly starts giving way to the most emotional moment of all weddings…The Bidaai… It’s time to say Goodbye to your parents, parents who gave birth to you, caressed you, pampered you and made sure you become an independent woman. It’s time to say good bye to all those naughty fights with your little sister and brother, siblings who shared your room, your wardrobe and most importantly all your secrets and thoughts. It’s time to say Goodbye…to one and all you loved and grew up with… Truly, bidaai in Indian marriages is the most emotional ceremony which makes one and all cry.
But today, with the fast changing world, changing relations, divorces and changing importance of marriage, it seems the meaning and importance of bidaai has also drifted away a little bit. Do the women of today still share the same thoughts and emotions for Bidaai, as the women who got married almost 40 years ago? Let’s see the experiences of married women during their bidaai.
The Previous Generation Bidaai
Emotional outburst and bidaai of Veena Arya
“It’s been 32 years, and I still remember it all so clearly. I was brought up in Ahmedabad and was getting married and shifting to a small town called khandwa in MP. The baraat had come in a bus and so, I was more engrossed in packing all my bags rightly for the journey to my new home, my sasural. The preparations didn’t allow me to think much about the bidaai. And before I knew it, the wedding was over and it was time for my bidaai.
I was very close to my father, and all I could see was him. I hugged him tight and kept crying, not ready to leave him back and go. My mother was more like a friend to me and so, she understood me well. She was strong and gave me strength to continue and step into the new world. After the bidaai, I had to travel a long distance in the bus. The mixed thoughts about the new world, the new people and journey altogether made me sick. But, yes, overall it was all a very emotional moment for me.”
The new Generation Bidaai
My emotional bidaai – Swati Sutaria
“Bidai…OH god..I can’t even explain this in words! While I was getting married, I was not at all mentally prepared to go through this phase. I cried like hell…my face was all swollen, eyes red and it completely expressed my emotions. It was the heaviest moment of my entire life and believe me, I am not at all exaggerating by saying this. For me, it was same as taking a new birth and starting life afresh. That happy emotion of being married and starting something new got suppressed by the feeling of leaving my mother.
Overall I can say that it was one of the saddest moments for me, till date.”
The Bong Bidaai – Aditi Basu
“I had one of the funniest weddings ever! I am a Bengali…and my husband a Gujarati. Rather than being emotional about the entire ceremony, we were all having fun seeing the Gujjus in Bengali wedding attires. After the wedding, in a Bengali marriage we have the Kal Ratri…so my husband had to stay back with me at my parents place for the night with all my cousins. It was a gala time…all fun and songs and leg pulling. We hardly saw the sun coming up and before we knew… i was being prepared to leave for my new life, my bidaai. I had strictly asked my parents Not to cry… as I wanted to see their happy faces while leaving the home. And guess what…when my dad was almost about to break down…I actually stopped him and made him smile.
Ok, I agree I am not a very emotional person, but for me…bidaai was just like stepping back into my hostel life, with my husband as a roomie and my in-laws as my rectors.” 😛
Apart from these, there are also many whom I have seen in weddings, cry like a little baby during their bidaai. Also, there are others who simply hold hands and wave a BByee to their parents during the ceremony. All I can say, no matter whether it is this generation or the previous, Bidaai of a bride during her wedding does hold a lot of significance, especially emotionally.
Image Courtesy: youandi.com