Compromise – This Is What My Parents Taught Me From My Childhood!

To be a girl is such a lovely thing. God has blessed us with unique powers and strength which makes us feel good and best from the rest of the world. As a girl, I enjoyed every moment of my childhood with family and friends. Those were the moments when our innocence was intact and the surroundings were happier. I remember how I grew up and I am sure, all of us are very much connected with the old memories of our childhood. Long innocent discussions packed with silly questions, learning new things and different values of life, how we shouldn’t do this and accept that etc. were truly valuable back in those days. But, as we grew up, at a particular stage of life, with several experiences, we became more matured and understanding. To this, I look back and ask myself, If those values were truly applicable? Is it worth following them forever?

As per Indian society,  a woman should know how to Cook, Clean, Care and most importantly, Compromise! These 4Cs are enough as an advice to a girl, ‘You are married now and here is your KRA (key resource area), the 4C’s which is a 24×7 thing’. Starting from watching your favorite channel on TV to choosing your favorite career option, we are taught ‘Compromise’. Sit for a while and think how much compromise our mothers have made during their lives and are still doing? Oh, this will bring tears in our eyes and we won’t be able to thank her enough for all those compromises ever. Is she worth this lifestyle that she is following since years? My question here is simple and direct, Is it so bad to live your own life with your defined terms and condition? Why do we need to convince others to let us follow our own defined way? Why women are always expected to compromise? Even after so much, people take all the compromises for-granted assuming that, this is what we are supposed to do and it is a part of our KRA?

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I am not sure if this is something you want to be repeated in your life and your daughter’s! Do you? In any terms, I will not teach my daughter to compromise in any phase of life. I would like her to have better understanding of things, let her choose her interests and once she takes her decisions, I want her to follow them without any compromises. And this will make both of us happy. Imagine, if every girl or a mother out there follows this, won’t it be a happier world out there for Women? At times, compromises are good in life, but let’s not allow them to become a major part of our lives.

Every girl is unique and so is her nature. I am sure we all are aware with that fact but once a girl is married, they tend to bend, not following her own nature and lifestyle. They become the someone, that the entire world wants them to be. Why women need to lose their identity? Why can’t they be what they were before marriage? Let me give you a very good example of one of my close friends. We called her a perfect TV serial bahu material back in those hostel days. She is someone who wanted to be a homemaker. Her happiness and enjoyment was inside the family. She was an expert in house and relationship management. While the other girls were not so keen about doing that all the time. Eventually after ten years, I see every girl is following the same routine, trying to be a perfect bahu for a family, killing all their dreams for several reasons!

A girl who was willing to be a homemaker is happy and I am happy about the same but what about others? Why are they following the routine they used to hate? Is there any solution to this situation in India or for that matter, I shouldn’t call this a situation but an issue which requires attention!

I think we should break this chain from our end. Preaching independency to women doesn’t mean I am anti sanskaari or irresponsible towards other people but just that we should not sit down by compromising our likings every now and then. We should speak up to make people aware about our feelings and likings. Show them what you are willing to do and try to make this a normal routine. It will only bring happiness to you, family and to your child’s better future. Eventually your child will learn things from what they are seeing around. Compromising is not the solution!

So ladies, buckle up! Dream, Dream high and Dream not to let them get shattered one day, but to follow and fulfill them!

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