Wedding is one happy occasion for every girl I know, be it a love marriage or an arranged one. I am sure every all of us have or have had a “secret dream wedding” enacted in our mind long before we step into the “boyfriend & crushes” zone and I am no exception! I tell you, growing up watching all those fairy tales and reading girly books like Mills n Boons is the Culprit!! I always pictured myself as the Cinderella/ Rapunzel waiting for her prince charming, decked up in world’s prettiest dress, looking the happiest person on earth and prying attention of one and all on my “D” day! I had imagined marriage is all about good clothes, great make-up, stunning sandals, gorgeous jewellery, lots of wooing, pretty flowers, soft music, a diamond ring and the extended honeymoon!! (Yes I did fall into that trap!) Don’t we all?

Little did I know how far from reality I was! I am not going to dish out the negatives of getting married, No! Nor am I going to burst your lovely bubble. But let’s face it; we seldom achieve our wishful thinking. Don’t we? And Wedding’s in India are far deeper than what has been portrayed. So here I am telling you few basic things about a Real Indian Wedding. Trust me, these are the confessions of a true-blue Indian bride!

#Confession no 1: Jerk back from that “Wedding Singer” soft music in the background while you take your vows visuals. There is not “Here comes the Bride “happening while you walk down the aisle! Reality check: You will be walking along with a horde of relatives (half of whom you might not even know!) while some cheap Bollywood tune blares in the back-drop drowned in clatter of gossip’s and crying of infants. Loaded with tons of Jewellery, if you are lucky enough, you might get a glimpse of the man of your dreams, climbed on some animal (maybe replaced with a car these days) coming with all the shenanigans drumming and singing some loud song on the lines of “Gore gore mukhde pe Kaala Kaala chasma” while his clan gets busy in some sort of alien dance form. Yes! Those bands where a male tries to dub in female voice! Keep your kerchief handy, you might want to Puke!

#Confession no 2: The start of the day! Your wedding day is anything but a pleasant calm day you have always dreamt of. To have a wedding Mis-fit is an Indian custom, like something or other has to go wrong! Imagine this “Groom’s car gets punctured. Your Granny can’t find her glasses and is roaming wildly in the house. The tech-savvy Panditji has not yet arrived and his phone is switched off. Some relative of yours is missing, along with the car that was supposed to take you to the parlour” and the list goes on. A typical Indian wedding day is the most chaotic day of your life, no matter how well you have organized everything and planned your wedding months ahead. Only if you are someone born with a silver spoon, or you have taken a help of a wedding planner can then your wedding day be a little less dramatic! (But drama will be there nevertheless)

#Confession no 3: Ah! The charming natural glow of a bride-to-be! It’s nothing but a cake of partly smeared make-up on your tired face. No matter how hard you try to cheer up, you will be all drained by the EOD, partly because of the heavy attire your family decided would look good on you & partly because of the cracked mehendi that itched the whole night. However major blame goes to bending and touching feet of each and every relative of yours (if that is not a custom, do not worry you won’t be spared, you gotta stretch your face muscles smiling non-stop on the stage!) Wedding Jitters cannot be ignored!

#Confession no 4: Remembering 27 dresses, are we? If you thought it is you who would be the so-called “Centre of attention” during the whole wedding episode, you are totally duped! Steer Clear! It is going to be the “Groom” and more specifically the “Groom’s mother or sister” Don’t get me wrong there. No I am not getting on the typical in-law phase seriously, but trust me when I say this. Your own family members will be more interested in knowing how the “Groom’s family” doing at the event and making sure they are properly entertained in all sorts of ways one can be entertained! Not many would be interested to know how comfortable you are. And with this confession all my dreams of being a rock-star at my wedding goes out the window! #sigh

Recommended Read: Bonded For Life – The 7 Vows of Indian Weddings

#Confession no 5: Finally if you somehow manage to get on with the wedding and all the endless rituals seamlessly, there comes the long awaited “swaagat” at the new house! After a tiring day full of rituals and second-to-second tied schedule, this is all that you needed. Being tensed by your new family and the warm welcome accompanied by yet another set of rituals before you actually manage reach to your new Bed-Room! By the time you reach there you are dizzy from sleep, body wanting to relax, head aching badly, your knees hurt from all the standing in the heels and your groom is in no good condition himself, forget about helping you out! (Did I hear First night somewhere!! Ah! That’s Bluff! )

#Confession no 6: Erase, edit and delete the iconic “getting into that “newly weds” car and hailing to your honeymoon after wedding” scenes from Runaway bride, 27 dresses or Princess Bride No Girl! This is Indian wedding, and a wedding is never complete without a reception… Oops sorry, two receptions held by both the parties, which is bang next to your wedding date. Also, there can be number of other reasons like more rituals, hubby not getting leave from office, relatives have not yet gone to respective homes, etc… and etc… that shall impact the delay in your honey-moon if you ever get past the reception’s, that is!

Okay so If by now all of you have vowed not to Wed Indian Style, I have something coming up for you. Despite all the above confessions, I still have one more confession to make. No doubt a typical Indian wedding is nowhere near to our fairly tale wedding but we still have got our Happily Ever After intact! I found my precious moments of happiness and laughter on and off-camera with the love of my life! And you too shall. Amongst the funny jokes cracked by cousins, the joota churao hungama, your first ever couple dance (may be second 😛 ), love and blessing showered by friends and relatives. One has to agree, that amongst this humongous taam-jhaam lie tiny little secrets to an awesome wedded life! Here’s Hoping you have a Happy Ending to your fairytale wedding! xoxo