Love… Love isn’t easy, it is even arduous in India. It is not always the Happy Ever after… it is Complicated.
Majority of Indians belong to conservative families and according to them, their religion, faith and caste is superior than the others. One has to get married in the same caste in order to maintain the family honour. Anyone not following this belief, puts their community in disrespectful terms and are greatly seen as a shameful factor.
What your parents think, what and whom they choose, is way more important while considering marriage than whom you love, in most cases, especially arranged ones. And these reasons lead many young boys/girls to run away from their parents and family, only to win their Love. But, what they fail to understand is that – Love towards anyone or anything is never wrong AND Running away, is not an only option!
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Why Do Girls Choose To Runaway?
Who is responsible for a girl to run away with her partner? She or her parents or the society? You can’t just blame the girl or her family! There are reasons and factors that force them to take such a step.
- Conservative families imposing restriction on their daughters to get married in their own community.
- Comparison between the lifestyle, class and standard of living of the boys community. If found from lower strata, rejection is on its way.
- Relationship between parents and children are less friendly and are deeply respectful, and at times non interactive. This fear of honour, forces girls not to disclose their affairs.
- Restricting children from childhood for certain things makes them believe it is incorrect. Hence, sharing their feelings becomes difficult and thus love relationships in a conservative families are often complicated.
- Many families in India are deep esteem oriented. Examples of Khap Panchayat ruling in favour of parents, going against lovers and even killing them mercilessly is not uncommon.
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What After Runaway?
You ran away with your love… but what after that? Are you sure there was no other choice?
- These decisions cause mental disturbance and are often taken keeping one thing in mind – Love!
- Love is blind, love is the only thing required, love wins all etc. etc. glitters only on the sky. When it comes to reality check, one has to keep future in mind. Love will keep your relations tied up but poor economic and financial plannings would not.
- A proper communication with the parents prior to marriage goes a long way in saving relationships. Running away not only puts parents and family into shaming but most importantly it disturbs the very home peace you lived in.
- Years of relationship is shattered in one day. The best way is to try talking to your parents instead of choosing eloping.
- Find out any way, I suggest any way to talk with your parents. Ask them to hear you at least once and give them a reason why you have chosen a partner and what qualifies him. After all, even parents can be reasonable.
- Mental imbalance, state of shock, psychological disorders and many more brain related illness is followed post such decision. Even a girl can be a victim.
- Many women regret their decisions as they are often cheated by their partners. Sex trafficking, Love Jihad and even revenge are some of the reasons.
At times running away from the family in order to marry the love of your life is the ultimate thing; however it comes with the terms and conditions. At one part they win the battle of love and are happy with their partner, happiness which might be temporary or may be till death but at the same time you are shattering the love and heart of your parents for whom the happiness and love is default and never ending.
What do you think, is eloping with your partner a better choice? Or talking with your parents, finding a way to convince them is the other way? Shouldn’t you wait for few years to make them relieved that their daughter has chosen the perfect match? I would really need the reader’s opinion as people in general are unable to decide their next step when their love life is complicated with family issues! So, what do you have to say?
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