The wedding season is on and the environment is blended with the mixture of perfumes, sweat post dance, delicious Indian culinaries and crackers. Marriage is a blessing, a feeling of happiness and a little sadness. Not to forget it’s the second innings of a woman’s life!
Being the youngest one in the family, I have seen my two elder sister’s weddings. I have seen them changing their life they loved to be born in. Their passion, interests, the way they speak, laugh and even the way they used to eat had changed. Hell broke loose on me whenever I noticed them doing weird things that they never did. What can be done? While I keep on taunting my sisters, “Ha tumhari toh shaadi ho gayi hai na.. tum apne ghar ruk nahi sakti!” “To kya hua agar mummy ka pair fracture hua.. Main collage se chhutti le loongi, per tum apne sasural main shadi attend karo!” I had to hear scolding’s from mother on several occasions.
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I had often questioned my sisters that, why do they change themselves? Are they freaked out under the pressure of performing the moral guidelines, the sanskaar of a married woman so much that they don’t even bother to keep a check on her parents? Well, I AM NOT one among these girls who forget the importance of her birth family once they are married. For the women who wants their son’s newlywed bride to change, I have something for you:
- I am married to your son and that doesn’t stop me from visiting my parents. My responsibility towards them remains as it is
- I know my limitations as a Sanskari Bahu; Mind you – Do not restrict me into Sari’s ONLY
- My parents have struggled enough to make me what I am today. They have complete right on my earnings
- Though married, I have my own choices to make about my Professional/Personal life. Advise/Suggest me anything but Please do not impose
- When to have a baby is mine and my husband’s personal decision. Please do not push us into parenthood
- I may have 2 girls/2 boys or may be one girl. Please do not pressurise me for a baby boy
- I will do my best to get adjusted in my new life. Just do not compare me with my sister-in-law
- As a bahu, I will perform all my duties towards the family. But, I will not be able to bid a final goodbye to my friends, my passion and interests
- At times there may be lot of house chores to do. I am sure you wouldn’t leave me alone in kitchen. I am a human not a machine
- I will love, care, respect and obey the marriage terms but only on one condition, Even I should be loved, cared and respected
I do not have big demands from my in-laws, but the above are for sure. If every Indian Saas, understands the simple logic of ‘kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi…”, (Not the serial please) there would never be a differentiation between a mother and mother-in-law’s feelings.
But above all, I would simply say, I AM NOT a TYPICAL Bahu material. Sorry, if you dislike my open mind, my thoughts and love for my family!
I hope my mother-in-law read this please. BTW, do you have anything to add as a Bahu or to-be Bahu?
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