divorce infidelity

When To Walk Away After Infidelity?

Sometimes, it takes time to accept what you are already aware of.

A strong connection among two opposites of sex results in the development of a relationship with the sharing of robust emotions like happiness, sadness, fear, anger, joy, trust, surprise and disgust. It gets stronger with time as they get married to tie themselves in a stronger relationship by both means i.e. emotionally and sexually. As communication serves as the basis of any relationship strength as well as honesty for the maintenance of trust among them. Honesty in any relationship is the foundation of communication. Once the trust is broken then it seems impossible to rebuild in the way as it was. In fact, cheating is a part of one’s life. It is primarily not based on your nationality, or the region or your family background. Thus, initiation of lies, dishonesty, unfaithful acts. and neglecting feelings from any of the partners sows the seed distancing from one another all this will lead towards infidelity and divorce.

If you learn that your spouse is involved with someone else, I don’t think there are any words that could exactly describe the pain and devastation felt by one partner when the other has an affair. Not getting the same attention as it was paid to you disturbs an individual emotionally. After being aware of the affair from your partner, the decision of either to stay or leave is a soul searching and time taking situation leading to a mentally ill and stressed state. Although, an affair in a marriage does not mean that love is totally gone out of your lives but it remains somewhere inside your heart waiting for bringing into the light again.

You might decide to leave but before you leave, take some time and ask yourself again about the reason behind your discomfort, is it either your partner’s behavior. It makes a big difference. While dealing with a cheating spouse, we need to question ourselves, as if we did something to make them cheat on us or it’s something our fault. Unluckily, we already have insecurities within us regarding our self-worth which gets worse when we get cheated.

If someone hurts you, abandons you, betrays you …. It’s nothing about your worth, and everything about their character. – Christina.

Divorce Sign cover

Work things out are often said to many people suffering from an unhealthy relationship status but every rule has its exceptions to work things out. Most of the women in their high profiled marriages have been observed to remain in relation despite catching their man cheating on them. For every woman who has experienced infidelity in her relationship or men, there are times when you must decide to get divorced rather than staying in the relationship. These reasons might include a noticeable change in the behavior of your partner with no reason, being exposed to any of the risky situations, the disappearance of respect in between, etc.

Although, affairs are not long-lasting relationships as it is referred to as a betrayal of trust. However, the difference in adultery – among married couples whereas infidelity is among law spouses and committed partners. However, there are many types of affairs but only some of them can be considered to be a cause of divorce. This mainly includes romantic, casual and emotional affairs which directly or indirectly get involved in sexual relations among either in wedded or unwed individuals. When dealing with an affair in a committed relationship, there are no rights and wrongs to be taken into consideration. These types of affairs often result in a marriage break up while some of the couples significantly are able in covering up from infidelity and might get succeeded in saving their relationship. Infidelity does not come due to a lack of love rather than a lack of respect.

According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy came up with divorce statistics after infidelity, national surveys indicate that 15 percent of married women and 25 percent of married men have had extramarital affairs. The incidence is about 20 percent higher when emotional and sexual relationships without intercourse are included. Similarly, in the 1990s, the infidelity rate peaked among men aged 50 to 59 (31%) and women aged 40 to 49 (18%). It was lower for both men and women at the older end of the age spectrum. Between 2000 and 2009, the highest rate of infidelity shifted to men aged 60 to 69 (29%) and women aged 50 to 59 (17%). Additionally, among those eligible to remarry—adults whose first marriage ended in divorce or widowhood—men are much more likely than women to have taken the plunge again. According to Complete Case, In 2018, 64% of eligible men had remarried, compared with 52% of women.

When a man and woman are so in love with their spouse rather have the capability of having an affair. Such type of affairs lead to divorce, however, it is not as uncommon as we thought it to be. Rather, the acceptability of knowing your partner having an affair other than their partner varies in different cultures with respect to what are the cultural and social norms they had been spending their lives with. Ignoring the fact of your partner or reacting to him/her having an affair despite a happy relationship, is wholly not related to condemning or condoning that particular behavior rather take action against what it seems to be true. Sexual fidelity is an important base of trust among two people having a relationship that has been known to be broken which factually affects everything around us. And, at the time, when each thing around you is questioned in regards to marriage, this is a clear indication of unfaithfulness in your marriage being carried out one of the partners.

According to the experts of affair recovery, it is estimated that recovery of any affair takes a period of at least two years to heal from an affair. However, it has also been observed that some couples have known to be successful in recovering their marriage life within a year. Although, it seems quite difficult for a partner to regain trust after being cheated but there are some things that can be considered while recovering from a marriage affair:

–          Make your communication open and healthy.

–          Stay present-oriented

–          Build trust by removing temptations

–          If you are the one who cheated, don’t be afraid of taking responsibility

–          Keep your promises

On the other hand, bursting emotions of being angry as a natural response of being betrayed as a result of infidelity further damages the relationship. Dealing with anger after infidelity might serve as a better way of expression of a set of emotions for the management of your pain. Dealing with the breach of trust, sometimes it gets too hard for an individual to admit and confront his/her mental state and the reason behind their aggressive behavior. The sense of being betrayed naturally develops a vibe that makes you think to lose your loved one or your partner and these sort of thoughts can.

Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But, to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way – is not easy. – Aristotle

Being angry or expressing your emotions of something is not wrong at all, but the way you express it might be wrong. People have different ways of conveying their state of anger like they tend to say that they are disappointed, hurt or sad. But, one must need to admit if they are angry. People become overexpression in anger states, do express your feelings, your emotions but take time to analyze things in a better manner. Often, when partners become aware of the other partner being involved in an affair with someone else, they tend to react in initial moments which results in nothing but hypertension with an increased heartbeat that can be of no use rather damaging and affecting your own health badly.

Active wisely and maturely in such conditions gives a person with the potential of saving their relationship. Things might happen, ups and downs come in one’s life but it is also not wrong to say that precious things are harder to get and even harder to retain. Infidelity has known to affect even a stronger relation but the bond, the chemistry, the intensity of love and understanding couples have in their relationship is hard to find with one another, it may either be not loyal to your partner or have an affair with another person. It might make one feel appealing when it starts to happen, but things get worse, insecurities develop inside them with a thought of being cheated as they had. Due to fact, if a wedded or committed person can leave his/her partner for another person, then he might leave the other person he/she is having an affair with. So, rather acting emotionally when they feel unfaithfulness in their relationship, despite reacting harshly or aggressively to further mess things up, talk to your partner and develop healthy communication. As it is being said that if a person truly loves you, he/she will never let go.

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