Life is a gamble, one right move and you become the King of the Universe, showered with everything you could imagine yourself around with. On the contrary, one wrong move and your entire life comes crashing down. For me, the latter one was the fate of my life.
Coming from an upper middle class family, where education was our asset and hardwork was the key to our success, me and my brother were taught to be independent and make our own decisions at every step of our life by our parents. And to some extent, this felt good and also proved fruitful for us. After graduation, I started working in an MNC, while my brother shifted to USA and became successful in his own career. We were both happy in our lives and enjoyed the accomplishments we achieved. However, the time passed and soon I was living a happy independent life with a regular 9 to 5 job, when my parents started forcing me to choose a guy and get married. After all, the biological clock was ticking and I was already 27 years old. And according to our societal norms and orthodox Indian Mentality, women need to be married off at an appropriate age.
Forced mentally by my family, I logged myself into a regular matrimonial site and connected with a man whom perfectly fit into all my expectations of an Ideal Husband. He was an engineer and had a pretty income, He was financially stable, good looking and was sweet to talk to. I started trusting him and slowly fell in love and dreaming of a happy life ahead. We were engaged within 4 months and married in the next couple of months. During this stage, I had very little contact with his family who loved in their native city in Northern India.
On the first day after marriage, I was taken to his hometown. And to my complete shock, the area they lived was like slum with garbage littered all across the roads. The stink of the garbage filled my nose and I wanted to puke. I looked at my husband and he seemed unaffected by the dirt, rather habituated to it. The house was small and equally dirty. I had never witnessed this much poverty in my life. The living conditions were absolutely unhygienic. I was made to cover my head at all times and was not allowed to talk in front of my in-laws. My father-in-law casually roamed around the entire house in his skimpy underwear, without feeling ashamed. We stayed there for a torturing 15 days and then came back to Mumbai, where I breathed a sigh of relief. I could now go back to my regular life and my loving husband, and not bother about my in-laws.
But my happiness was short lived. My mother-in-law moved in with us soon. She got rid of the house help and made me do all the house chores before I would go to office. I was also expected to cook food after work and clean the house again. Slowly she started passing lewd comments about my relation with her son and asked if I had trapped him into marriage by offering him sex. On the other hand, my husband who initially showed his love to me, now started behaving distant and would follow only his mother’s instructions. He would spend our earnings on his family without asking me, showering them with expensive gifts and jewellery. He would force me to watch porn with him, forcing me to do the same depraved actions for his satisfaction. Slowly when I built up my courage to divorce him, I got pregnant and decided to give him another chance to become the same man he was when we married. But I was all wrong.
Today without the slightest bit of shame, he roams around in the house wearing his underwear in front of my 2 young daughters. And when I raise my voice against his behaviour, I am beaten black and blue for not being a dedicated wife. I cannot even turn to my old parents and my brother, who has his own family to support. I made the biggest mistake of my life by rushing into marriage and ruined not only my life, but also the lives of my daughters.
I request each and every woman out there to read my story and never blindly trust anyone, especially when you are planning to find a life partner for marriage. Take your time, do some background checking and only then choose your life partner wisely.