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Is It My Home Too? A Letter From a Daughter-in-law to Her In-laws!

I am happy to be in a family I wanted to be in, I am happy to be with your son who makes my world a fairytale. But is that all a woman expects when she gets married? I just didn’t expect a loving husband, but expected caring parents-in-law as well, and of course who can understand better than you, the feeling of leaving parents and family for a new beginning? Dear mother-in-law, you have a daughter who is happily married to a family and is settled in a house which is more of a home for her! Will you ever like to see your daughter in her home, the way you see your daughter-in-law?

When I got married, you promised my parents that I am your daughter now. You promised them that you would treat me like your own child and would be a part of your family. But it’s not the same!

I kept quiet but now seems like I am suffering from a level of frustration and now I will have to speak! After having married for more than two years, I would like to ask you that how long would it take for me to become a part of your family? That’s all I want to know! Because I am tired of being homeless now! The family to which my husband belong, is still not mine. You might be wondering why am I saying this, but I have answers to all your questions. The question here is, dear parents-in-law do you have answers to my questions?

This home is still not mine, it’s just a house – it is only yours and my husbands’!  Because if it was my home, I would eat what I wanted to without being reminded that I put on weight. I would be able to sometimes cook what I would like to eat, instead of giving me lists of the menu you decided every morning, I would be able to wake up a bit late when I was sick and couldn’t work early mornings and could wake up a bit late on weekends without being judged.

If it was my home, I could be allowed to plan my day according to my needs while ensuring that I made my time for family, work and little for myself. It could have been my home if, I was permitted to attend a gym or a dance class which I was said was a waste of time and money. You reminded me that I am not your daughter but a wife of your son, when you said I could invest that extra time in working households instead of any classes, while on the other side you encourage your daughter on telephone to participate in such activities to be fit and knowledgeable. Why not me mother?

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The saddest thing is, even my parental home is now a house for me, as my visits becomes a topic of how frequent my visits are which might lead to ‘How my in-laws think about it’!

When you are not well, I make sure the needful is done you are taken care of very well, but when my mother is not well and is alone with father, I am not allowed to stay with my mother for a day or two saying that, who would give you early morning tea if I am not available? Tell me dear mother-in-law, was it your daughter giving you tea and breakfast at 6:30 when I wasn’t married to your son?

Tell me, how can I consider you as my parents, how can I consider your home as mine? When will that day come? When will I be able to feel free and suggest or take a decision here? I will be waiting for that day, when I can be myself rather pretending to be one! Hope you will understand this soon and embrace me as your daughter! Imagine you will have 2 loving daughters and I will have four parents to love me!

P.S – Let the daughter in your daughter-in-law come out when she is married to a whole new family. Don’t be an authoritative Parent-in-laws’ but be a parent to a daughter and see how life will be more happier than it was before.

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