‘Are you listening to me?’, ‘Do you have ears? Why do I have to repeat instructions to you?’, ‘No late coming…didn’t I say that?’. As parents, communicating rightly with your teenager is perhaps the most difficult thing. Its nothing less than a verbal chess, not knowing how your teenage kid will be reciprocating to your words. The more you expect, the lesser they give you. The more you nag, the more they make your temper go higher. Moreover, a teenager’s brain instantly starts filling up with negative emotions and slower activity once they get nagged by their parents.
What research says?
According to a study, a teenager shuts off his brain the minute you start lecturing them. Additionally, a group led by Kyung Hwa Lee from the University of Pittsburgh, opine that the survey may improve a parent- teenager relationship. Researchers further add that when a young adult is criticized, the teenager experiences a disapproving vibe and also has difficulty in understanding the parental point of view.
Understanding a Teeanger
In situations like that parents ought to understand that a teenager has growing–up problems, peer pressure, hormonal changes, studies and many other issues that take him/her to a huge emotional roller-coaster ride. With all these things going around in their mind and the lack of understanding of parents makes them conveniently stop listening to their parents.
Obviously according to teenagers, parents don’t pass the stage of being a teenager so probably you can’t appreciate what he/she is facing. Teenagers want their grown-ups for sure but are reluctant in accepting the fact. They visualize parents as irritating, judging advisors. Where as on the other hand, parents feel their teenagers to be mysteries, almost impossible to understand or help.
Both parent and teen want to talk, but don’t know how. As a parent you can only wait till your teenager is ready. You can’t change them overnight, but you can change your attitude, can’t you? After all you want the best for your child. So, here are a few Tips for Parents to help you understand your teenager better.
Be a listener
Pay total attention to what they are saying and are ready to listen to you.
Say no to arguments and fights
Have a healthy discussion, but don’t let it go out of control. Calmly hear them out before you comment.
Give the teenagers a lot of space and freedom to grow as happy Responsible individuals.
Allow your teenagers to totally explain themselves. Help them find solutions. Offer help or advice only when asked. Be there when they need you.
Don’t be surprised
As growing adults, they may want to talk about adult issues, so don’t be shocked. Its better they learn about the facts of life at home than get wrong information from outside.
To the extent possible, give them enough space. Don’t be over inquisitive, respect their personal area.