Pre-Post: This write up is women empowerment oriented and it is based on generalized notion on how a married woman in India should get her rights! Not necessarily we understand that every woman in India have the liberties mentioned below after marriage, and hence this is for them!
Though not every woman in India complaints about having the life change after the marriage, some are lucky enough to be as they were earlier and do what they wish but ladies, the fact we all know that India is a patriarchal country and there might be countable woman who have freedom to choose their aspirations and dreams!
What about other women, who have just seen women in the family blindly followed men and have suffocated their dreams and desires in those four walls? Wouldn’t they do the same? They do, I have come across a few and this is for them! If you are already married dear, make sure you get everything mentioned below and if you are yet to get married, be blunt and take a pride in asking your rights.
1. Time For My Family As And When Required!
I am married to your son, who is my husband now and his family is mine but this change in my life shouldn’t degrade my relation with my parents and siblings. Anytime, anywhere or whatever conditions may be, I will have to be with them for their support and for the same, I would require you to bid me a happy adieu and accept me warmly when I am back. This also doesn’t mean that I would care less for my new family!
2. Equality And Respect
Just because you are the bahu of the house doesn’t mean you will also be the bai of your house. Make sure you give equal time to yourself, do tell your husband and your mother-in-law and if needed of course your father-in-law to give their helping hands in small yet important house chores. There’s nothing wrong in asking for help than you working alone the entire day. Moreover, Let there prevail an equality, make sure you are treated the same way as your husband is when back from work. Pay no heed to things like, “Bahu tum to is ghar ki bahu ho, pati ke baad hi khana kha sakti ho.”
3. No Sanskaari Bahu Revamp
Be what you are! Just because you are married, there should be no compulsions. Your character is measured on the basis of how you behave and not from the clothes you wear. So untag yourself from just saris! Wear what is the most comfortable for you! Well, this does not mean that you go on a war with them, listen to them properly, take all their traditionally connected rationals and implement as and when strictly required, but nothing should be imposed as a routine.
4. Freedom To Take Decisions
The most important of all, have the freedom to take decisions, to give suggestions in important family matters. Just do not be a show piece in a family who works, smiles and nods for everything said! Be the one from whom the family takes suggestions, asks for their likes and dislikes. It is your right to decide whether you wish to work or be a housewife, it is completely your right to have a tattoo on a body or have an haircut! It greatly depends on you to change your name and surname after your marriage, but beware this do not permit you to stand stubborn when your kid is given your husband’s surname!
5. Monetary Liberty
Surely let your husband and your father-in-law be the head of the family, as mentioned in our Indian patriarchal society but also make sure that you do what you want to do! Want to pursue a career, please do! Your husband or his parents shouldn’t cut your wings to fly and also the income you get from your talent or hard work is first yours and then your families. Make wise use of it, when required share it with the family but not to forget even you have your dreams. Smart advice, put some in banks for future security as you never know what life has in store for you.
P.S : The above requirements are expressed through one’s behaviors before marriage, and if you are married and still would like to get this change, do not rush! It will happen gradually! Keep calm and patient when you say your desires.
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