Dear Bahu – You are the Key to A Happy Family!

Marriage opens door to many new relations, relations that are for life and relations that needs to be cherished and pampered with all your love and respect but at the same time it doesn’t mention that you need to lose your previous bonds. Mothers are the most sensitives ones before and after the wedding at both the groom’s as well as Bride’s side! You must be wondering why I am saying on the Groom’s side, why should mother-in-law’s be sad being at the receiving end? Well, there are reasons, some worry her while some of them are worth breaking her heart into pieces!

Here’s something I would like every Bahu should read, irrespective of what ideology they follow!

We as brides enter a family which is new to us but 2-3 decades familiar to your husband and hence do not expect him to be completely yours; he should also be a responsible son to his parents and a brother to his siblings besides being a husband to you. Generally, it is said that Mothers are more close to sons and Fathers to Daughters and to some extent it is true. When your brother is married and within few days if he does not pay any heed to your parents and is more inclined to his new bride, will you like it? So, it’s like that in every family!!

Mother’s have a special place in her heart for their sons, you must have marked the same in your sibling fights;  How can she let go off her son so easily to a wife completely? How about him getting and showering love to both the relations? It takes time and let it go the way it happens, easily! Neither pull your husband from his mother nor snatch those many son and mother moments from their life. It’s very important in life to walk along with many relations, individually! Let those mom and son relations as it is, while knitting and cherishing the husband and wife moments.

If some day,  your mother-in-laws says, “Mai subah aayi thi Rohit se kehne ke mujhe Mandir drop kar de.. Per tum dono ki hasi ki awaaz sun, socha tum dono ko akela chhod du…” There she is missing her son! Make sure you are not the reason for her unhappiness. She may not be really taunting you but simply disclosing that even she cares for your private time. A good relationship cannot see a successful end if it is one sided, she tried… now it’s your turn!

On any regular office day if your husband says, “Nita, aaj kaunsa shirt pehnu? Tumne jo birthday per diya hai vo, ya phir maine jo sagaai per Kharida tha vo?”
“Nita: Birthday wali!”
Mother: “Sagaai wali”
Rohit: “Ruko na Ma, maine tum se poocha kya, tum boodhi ho gayi ho.. aaj ka trend pata nahi hai and bolne chali ho.”
What should be your reaction here? Should you smirk and think that your husband just gave you a compliment for having a good sense of dressing? If you think that, NO, you shouldn’t do that! As by doing this you are just creating a distance between a son and a mother! I understand your mother-in-laws choice is opposite of yours but that shouldn’t spoil the curry, instead of keeping quite or smiling you should just ask Rohit to wear Birthday wali T-shirt today and your choice tomorrow!

There can be many such instances where you can rebuild those torn apart bridges between a son and a mother. It would just make you a super wife and of course an awesome Bahu! I am not asking you to do just to gain these titles, but it is the right thing to do! Send them to dinner when you can skip for once. Ask suggestions from your parent-in-laws on important decisions, give them surprises, include them in your travel and trips and so many things can actually make a happy family and a better home to live.

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