Stop slogging to earn that title of ‘Miss Perfect’! Letter to my fellow women who readily accede to the demands at workplace, home or in relationships, I want you to master the art of saying ‘NO’!
This is a small letter I want you to read it carefully today on International Women’s Day. I am sure it will not take much of your time and at the same time I hope to make a small yet significant impact in your life.
Just recollect your childhood memories when toys were real characters for you, butterflies were your friends and rolling on grass was real fun. You were malleable but strong! You questioned with curiosity with those beautiful sparks in your eyes and also readily showed your discontent without any hesitation if you did not like anything. So, what happened to you when you grew up? Why did you stop questioning? Why you said ‘YES’ when you did not like certain thing done in a certain manner? Why you said ‘YES’ when deep down you knew that your self-respect is at stake?
Keep in mind – You do not have to say ‘Yes’ to pursue a particular career if you do not like it. You do not have to say ‘Yes’ to buying a particular kind of a dress if you do not like it. You do not have to say ‘Yes’ to a particular suggestion made at workplace if you do not like it, but agreeing to it just to remain in good books of your seniors. You do not have to say ‘Yes’ to marry someone because your parents like him. You do not have to say ‘Yes’ to physical advances if they seem disrespectful and licentious.
In no ways, I am asking you to be a rebel and oppose others. We all have been granted right to express our views and put them across in a way that does not offend the other person. Exhibiting your likes and dislikes is the very essence of your personality; it defines you as a person, so why did you start suppressing your true self? To fit in a particular mould of a woman that has been defined since ages? So, you will be termed as an obedient daughter, perfect girlfriend, wife, daughter-in-law and a mother?
Well, today, I want to tell you, it is high time that you stop slogging to earn that title of ‘Miss Perfect’! Bluntly, you are not a ‘Super Woman’ and you do not have to be one to please everyone. You juggle to keep everyone happy at the cost of your own happiness and sometimes health too, but take a pause and think for a while, do you really have to do it? Is it worth it? Many psychologists and literary figures have opined that happiness starts with oneself.
Are you afraid to lose something or someone if you say ‘No’? To put it frankly, the doubt stemmed in your mind itself conveys that you are not sure whether that thing or person is right for you or not. So, why drag yourself to the extremes and keep a happy smile on face when deep down it hurts you? Please, for God’s sake, do not compare yourself with suffering ‘Sita’ and blame that a woman’s destiny remains same in any age, time or place. Also, do not compare yourself with fierce ‘Draupadi’ and be revengeful for the injustice meted out to you.
Just imagine, what would have been the situation if Sita would have said ‘No’ to Ram that she would not take Agnipariksha to prove her sanctity? Would you not idolize Sita more in this case for being bold and leaving a better example for women?
Believe me, saying ‘No’ is liberating sometimes. Stop approving of anything you dislike, say ‘No’ confidently, because you do not become a bad woman, if you say ‘No’!