Life isn’t easy for anyone, it’s more or less a hard road to walk on; however, the worst has been in the share of Hijras, the Third gender. From unacceptable discovery to inevitable self acceptance, they go through a lot of pain that we might not imagine. And it do not limit here, post self acceptance comes the family estrangement, who would ever want to get away from the loved ones forever? This happens with them!
One such unfortunate Transgender shared a bitter-sweet story of her life from self-realization to being lonely to enjoying the fatherhood to Humans of Amdavad.
Born in an orthodox family, his marriage was fixed before he could even walk himself. Life was easy and usual like every other boy until he realized how different he is from rest of the boys. He visited a doctor and was told that he belongs to the Third Gender – A gender which neither has a space in legal identity nor in anyone’s heart!
He was 22 when he was forcibly married to the girl he was engaged to since childhood. He somehow managed to live with the family but his guilt couldn’t stay calm. He knew the effect would be adverse but he could no more cheat his family, specially his wife. After his revelation, he insisted his wife to get married again and bid a goodbye to his home, which isn’t his anymore!
“Leaving my past behind I ran away to a place with no plan in mind, I didn’t know how will I earn a livelihood or where will my next meal come from. But I just wanted to run away from myself… till I found people like me…I was not accepted by my birth family and yet I found my family in other people like me. I started performing “Baddhai’s” at weddings and during the arrival of a new child.”
Now a she, Life was now normal, she continued to live as Hijras and enjoyed dancing, singing and in being carried away from the rest of the normal world. For years she was happy in the group of people who would understand her pain until one day her wife knocked his door with a young boy in her arms.
“The guy she married was an alcoholic and used to beat her every day… I was financially sound by that point of time so I gave her a place to live and said that don’t go back instead start filing for the divorce. Six months later, she got her divorce. I bought them a new flat…I would provide her 20,000 rupees per month for household and gave the finest education to her boy.”
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Today, her son has grown up to be an MBA and has married to the woman he loved. What else would anyone need? All Thanks to the Hijra who couldn’t have fathered a child but has indeed proved that he is a great father! She couldn’t live a respectful life but made sure that her ex-wife, her son and the girl who married her son live a happy normal life. She is happy to be the reason for their happiness.
“I couldn’t become the best son to my father, and best husband to my wife but I am sure that I have been the best father to my son. Although I couldn’t father a child due to my intersex but life gave me another chance to become a father by bringing my wife and her child back into my life.”
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