We can’t all be social butterflies with a magnetism that draws in any man in a 50-foot radius. If this is you, there is no need to fear to be single forever, because shy is the new sexy. And just because you’re shy, that doesn’t mean you lack confidence. It just means that you shine in certain conditions. You are going to be just fine as long as you stay true to yourself and remember not to stress. If you’re truly an introverted woman, here are seven dating tips that can help you to navigate the dating scene, when you’re ready, of course.
1. Watch Your Body Language
Although you may be interested in meeting someone, any potential dates just may decide not to approach you if your body language is off. In general, crossed arms, all your weight shifted to one side, being absorbed in your phone and not making eye contact are all negative signals that lead people to believe that you are dissatisfied and don’t want to be approached.
If you have ever wondered how to tell if a guy likes you, body language is a great indicator. And just like you have probably wondered about the signs that he’s into you, remember that before a man approaches you, he’s trying to get a feel for what his odds are with you. It’s okay to make eye contact or give a smile and a nod to make yourself seem more approachable. You just might be surprised at how easy it becomes to make new acquaintances.
2. Make the Most of Familiar Environments
Take advantage of the places where you feel more comfortable and confident. If you don’t usually go to bars, then going to a bar may not be the best thing for you when you’re dating someone new. Sticking to familiar environments will allow you to showcase your strengths and be more natural. This doesn’t mean that you won’t ever have to venture out of your comfort zone, but it does mean that you should feel free to ease yourself into more challenging situations.
3. Don’t Try to Change
Remember, shy is the new sexy. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you the way you are. In fact, there is something mysterious and intriguing about an introvert that tends to draw people in slowly and subtly. It is okay to be an introvert, I can’t stress this enough. You don’t have to try to change who you are to make anyone else comfortable. You can set your own limits and push them in your own time. If the person you are dating or considering dating has a problem with your personality and is constantly trying to get you to push yourself on their timeline, they may not be the person for you.
You may be surprised to hear that another introvert might be who you need. Someone who understands what it means to be an introvert and is okay with silence or staying in with a movie and pizza can make for a super comfortable relationship. But don’t discount an extrovert. The right extrovert can help you navigate some of the more uncomfortable spaces. An extrovert can bring you into a conversation or be an ice breaker or a social buffer when you need it.
4. Honesty is the Best Policy
Introverts will often have an entire conversation in their mind that the outside world is completely clueless about. That’s why it is important for you to be honest about the things you are thinking and the internal conversations you are having. No one is a mind reader, so go ahead and speak up for yourself. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re really uncomfortable and you can’t shake the urge to cut and run, let your date know. If you prefer to just sit in silence for a while or don’t like that you are not being involved in the decision making or conversation, speak up. Speaking up for yourself doesn’t mean that you are being rude or insufferable.
5. Ask Questions
When you find yourself in social settings or on a date, ask questions. A little game of 21 questions is a great ice breaker. It might help to have a list of questions already in mind so that you’re not just grabbing at straws. A lot of good comes out of preparation. Remember that question-asking is a two-way street. That means that you should be prepared to answer any questions your date asks you. Be honest and try to keep it light and fun. The whole point is to make yourself more comfortable and to create points of entry into the conversation.
6. Find a Hobby That Is Social
Take your hobby social or pick up a new hobby or activity that you do in a group setting. If you’re really into books, think about joining a book club, or a running club if you’re into running. If you have a dog, start frequenting a dog park instead of just taking a walk. By taking the things you would normally do alone into a more social setting allows you the comforts of what you enjoy coupled with the opportunity to make a date or two. Taking a class is another option for finding into prospective dates on your own introverted terms.
7. Be Patient
Being patient with yourself is an absolute must. Whether you’re a true blue introvert, extrovert or hybrid, giving yourself space and time to find a relationship and allow it to grow is important. Take things at your own pace and let people in when you’re ready. There’s no need to rush a good thing, or a good date.
You’re not disinterested or full of yourself, you’re just a little shy and approach the world of dating differently. Dating as an introverted woman needs a slightly different approach. These dating tips can level the playing field for introverts and get you firmly established in the ways of introvert romance.