I am one of those daughters who has seen a great love between a mother and a father. You must be thinking it is no big deal, everyone’s parents love each other right? Well, I expect you think the same as I know, how happy I am to be the witness of a love story that makes me believe in an unconditional love. But the love between Ma and Pappa is unique; not because I am their daughter but because they made it so!
It began in 1984 when my nerdy daddy’s mother, my baa decided to look for a perfect match for her travel freak, superb talented, educated, rich, and never ready to get married son. But baa was stubborn too, she decided to take her elder son along, to assist her in the perfect bride hunt. Within a few days, she selected a beautiful, not so educated, modest woman for pappa. Baa was flattened when she saw mumma’s house chore working speed with cleanliness, and the delicious food she served. What else? Baa was skeptical of her son accepting a low educated and a little plump woman to marry with, so she said this to pappa. “Maine aur tumhare bhaiya ne bahu pasand kar li hai, agle hafte daak se uska photo aur telephone number aa jayega. Rishta pakka hai.”
Image Source: wedding.freshphotography.com.au
Both respected their parents decision and trusted them blindly. Mumma believed “He is educated, well known in local media, is rich and family is popular for being good, He must be good too. It’s ok if I meet him after marriage.” Pappa believed “Mother is the perfect example of a woman, a man would ever like to marry. I do not have time to travel that far to see a girl, mother has already approved. She must be perfect too!
Neither of the two saw each other personally before marriage! (Mumma never even saw him in picture!!)
Pappa was never into social gatherings, customs or formalities, he was a man people feared for he said the blunt harsh truth! Thus, he never appreciated Ma, how beautiful she looked on her wedding day. Not that he didn’t respect her but was least expressive, while mother accepted her husband as he is! (You know how our mothers were back in those days) Time passed living in a joint family with lots of love, small nok-jhoks, blooming family business and of course the time when they saw those little screams of babies.
But hello… Can time ever be so blissful all the time? No no.. bad times come in everybody’s life and so did in their life too. Over the years when my parents awaited for a baby boy, they received their third baby girl, ME! With this the elder bahu taunted Ma of higher percentage of everything available goes to my parents as we were in 5 and they were in 4 – My mother’s silence won my father’s heart! Baa’s repetitive requests for a baby boy made mother irritated – But her respect for Baa never altered – Pappa was flattened again! For all those partiality Baa unknowingly did between two bahus, and mother was the least appreciated for not having a son, made mother’s heart cringe but silence is the most powerful she says. Father’s immense level of anger, mood swings and not so expressive trait never changed mothers attitude towards him, and all these sowed seeds of eternal love for her in my father’s heart.
All was well, my brother had arrived after 5 years from my birth date. Everyone was happy and celebrating but time has different faces and it showed one to them. Businesses have ups and downs, but when the elder brother breaches the brother code that they followed to make an rich empire, the hell broke loose. Bade papa seized our bank accounts, took everything in his custody and asked us to move to other state, in search of a job. Thank god, at least this time baa spoke, “Are per ghar ki cheezo ka batwara to karo.” Yes, we got that!
The guilt killed Baa inside which made her to decide she would live the life my parents would live! With 7 of us and 2000 INR/- in the 2nd millennium year, the struggle had just began. Mother was a bond between two pillars, that’s how she managed to keep the son-mother relation. Elder sister’s epilepsy attacks, Baa’s Leukemia Cancer discovery, our school fees and of course rented house and provisions – All these my mother bored with a smile. Father faced it too, at times he may just sit quiet for long hours in depression, but there was mother to tell him – This is not the solution!
Years have passed, we have overcome tougher times than that of now what we live! Today I am 26, I am witnessing a marriage that is 33 years old, where my father shockingly shatters his weight when my mother is not around and mother who prays god not to give her a day when she has to live on this planet without my father – Asks for a death together! When I see today, my father whistling on my mother, who is just about to leave for a social function, I think – Is this the same man who never expressed anything to his newlywed bride? It’s not that they don’t fight, they do but with one mantra – “When Ma is angry, Pappa keeps calm and listens and vise versa!”
Mother’s unconditional love and dedication won my father’s heart and today she is getting it all back in kind. What I have learnt from them? Love requires no mansions, luxurious materialism but it seeks for trust, respect, patience and standing together parallel, no matter what are the situations. When I denied an arrange marriage this is what mother said, “I Found True Love In An Arranged Marriage.” And thus I found this story!