First Night

What To And Not To Do On Your First Night – A Gynaecologist’s Tips

First-time sex is an exciting time and yet an event fraught with anxiety. Having no previous experience, a million questions arise about what is right and what is not. The first time remains with an individual forever and so, everyone wishes to have a memorable one. There are a few dos and don’ts that will help the first-timers enjoy their experience.

LAdies and sex - 5

DOS – 

  • “Am I ready?”

Do ask yourself if you are ready. Do it for yourself and not because your partner wants it or because of peer pressure. Do it with someone you trust. Do wait till you are of the legal age to do it. If you are not ready don’t be under the pressure to do something you are not ready for. Make sure you really want to do it with the partner you choose and are not pressured into doing anything or with anyone that is not your choice.

  • Educate yourselves

Understand your body and do your homework about what happens. There is plenty of material available on the internet that you can read. Also, consider speaking with someone you trust and someone interested in your welfare and asking any questions you may have.

  • When and where?

Make sure to choose a time and place that is safe, comfortable and private. Select a place where you will feel calm and relaxed and not have the stress of being disturbed or someone walking in. Give yourselves enough time to explore things together.

  • Communication

Communication is the key to a memorable first time. Discuss any concerns or fears beforehand. Be open and invite questions and be honest about what you will like to do and how far you will like to go. Don’t be shy about telling your partner and asking them, which moments were liked more and which didn’t turn out well during the act. This will help both of you to concentrate on actions that bring pleasure and avoid things that turn you off.

  • It is OK to say NO.

Even when you have started and halfway realize you don’t want to go all the way, be brave and speak up. You have every right to change your mind and to say no at any time. If your partner truly cares they will understand and give you the time you need.  

condoms and contraceptive pills


  • Forget contraception

You must consider and use contraception as even a single act of intercourse can result in a pregnancy. The pill will safeguard against pregnancy. Even if you have planned well in advance and are on the pill, use a condom as it will safeguard you against sexually transmitted diseases.

  • Alcohol 

A little alcohol may help you relax but alcohol is known to impair judgment. You must keep your wits about you so that you don’t regret your actions after the event.

  • Have pre-assumptions 

Don’t expect your first encounter to be extraordinary. A good intimacy act takes a lot of practice and it is not necessary that it will happen as one would imagine it to be. So, don’t let disappointment creep in. Let your first time be a start to intimacy between you and your partner and form a foundation to build your relationship.

  • Expect to bleed

Not all will bleed the first time. The bleeding will occur when the hymen is torn/split and this can happen with a lot of other activities like cycling, swimming, running, gymnastics, horse riding etc as the hymen is very delicate. In some women, the hymen may also be absent from birth. Have discussions about first times and virginity before and not after your first time.

  • Don’t Fake an Orgasm

Having an orgasm is very unpredictable, it is not necessary that one achieves an orgasm the first time they have a sexual encounter with their partner. Never fake one if you have not. Faking will create unrealistic expectations and make it difficult to communicate your needs later on.

Don’t let your first-time freak you out. Relax and enjoy it. The first time is just the beginning.

More from the Author