Can an award suffice the actual problems of my life? I have been awarded the best student of my school and I wonder if any of such achievements will ever change my life. The award ceremony looked quite a lot like a school’s award ceremony that we watch in films, except it was in a government school, my school. When I watch films, I try to compare myself with a character that is of my age. The problems are quite different but it feels good to see myself in that character for a while. Normally, in movies, every teenager talks about problems related to their school or boys but my problem is quite different because I am not a normal school going girl. My problem is my Mom.
Born in a family that tries to afford basic livelihood out of my mother’s daily wage, my mother tries to provide everything that she can. As my father passed away a few years ago, my mother is the sole bread earner for our family of three (mom, me and my little sister). As much as I respect her for that, I feel neglected.
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My school is a government school. It hosts limited student related events and my mother can never make it to any of these events. All my friends’ parents are there and I sit alone in a corner. I am the best student of my school, always ahead in my class, sports or any other activity but I can leave all that just for my mother, if she spends even a bit of her time. I am studying so that our family can get out of it because our teachers always say that education is the only way out. My mother understands it and tries to be supportive in her own ways.
My mother works as a maid or helper at about five bunglows and earns our income through it. I used to go along with her but my visits have gone from frequent to none. Whenever I used to accompany her,instead of being talked to nicely, I was always given work to do or asked to not disturb mom while she worked. Helping mom was never a problem, but mom never liked it. She always asked me to sit outside in the garden while she finished her work. I have seen her hands, all dried and too strong. I want to see her wear a ring. I want her to wear a kurta sometime. But I guess people who have many responsibilities may stop caring how they look after a while.
Over the years, these people have tried helping us. At least that is what they think. I have been given clothes to wear, food to eat. Clothes that are torn and in a condition that they cannot be worn by anyone and food that is about a day old. We don’t need sympathies but just empathy. My mother cannot speak up so just nods and takes anything that comes her way. Even while being that way with them, she never lets me wear those clothes or eat that food. She always tries to get me my own things, no matter how they look or feel, they are my own.
I have seen her cry and many a times more tired than she usually is, but never has she given up on us. One day, hopefully, I might be able to change all this and take her out to those fancy restaurants which are very common for people like you. Meanwhile, I can just hope that education is the answer to a successful life.